Personal Care for the Caregiver and Caregiving

anlyerla

My biggest piece of advice for someone who is a caregiver either full-time or part-time for a significant other is to make sure you're also providing yourself with care. You cannot serve others if you are not serving yourself. 

What selfcare looks like for one WAGS will look vastly different then it will for another. 

In our home which is fully accessible and because Jake's is a T11/T12 incomplete, I'm lucky he is very self-sufficient. 

But, I still self-impose a deep since of responsibility for him. And juggling caregiver and wife is a tricky line to walk. 

For me, selfcare involves regular therapy (even if its often me just rambling nonsense for an hour each week), frequent hot baths just to soak, and forcing myself to get out and about with just myself (even if its just window shopping for a couple of hours).

What do ya'll do to provide yourself with some selfcare?

WAGSofSCI

Hi Ashley - Brooke here -  I agree with everything you wrote and thank you for this important topic. Self care is huge, and most women who are partners and caregivers don't do enough of it. I remember when my husband was first injured I felt extremely guilty for going out and taking some time for a pedicure - or doing something else relaxing for myself. I constantly felt bad because he couldn't do the same thing as me to relax.. and I would just leave him at home, uncomfortable, spasming.. sitting alone with his grief that he couldn't do the same things for HIS own self care that he used to. I must admit.. it took me a year and a half or so do be able to do stuff like this, and, I STILL feel guilty a lot of the time when I am out enjoying myself and doing things for me on my own terms. Its unreasonable I know.. as he is 100% supportive of me taking time out for self care - so I truly believe its my own issues stemming from his accident and my need to comfort him that causes this. This is a hurdle that one day, I hope to overcome. - Brooke (WAGS OF SCI)

anlyerla

@WAGSofSCI - Brooke, I mostly feel guilty when it comes to things that really help me relax and reset like hiking since we do not live in a state where there are accessible trails and such. He always loved walking the woods and exploring pre-injury so it always feels bad to go and do something he'd love to be able to do again.