Erogenous Zones In The Ear? Say What?

WAGSofSCI

If your partner has paralysis, you've probably experimented with touch and sensations in different areas of his body at one point or another. Whether this is sexual or just exploratory, finding areas where there IS unique sensation in someone who is paralyzed can be super exciting for both parties involved. 

I'm sure most of us remember the scene in "The Intouchables" where Driss hires 2 Masseuses to entertain him and his quadriplegic employer Phillipe. After watching this scene my husband and I were curious as to what sensations massaging the ears would produce? 



Turns out, the ear is a MAJOR erogenous pressure point zone. There are certain spots on the ear that when messaged, produce sensations that can flow throughout the entire body. This is because the ear has a massive amount of sensory receptors that respond to touch and pressure. 

According to lelo.com "The choice bit of the ear to focus on would be the outer ridge, where the firm cartilage can be nibbled lightly between kisses. Trace it with the tip of your nose and follow up that sensation with a hot. Wet swipe from your tongue. Add in some heavy breathing and he’ll be weak in the knees in no time."

According to women's day "Many men love when their ears are touched," says Amy Levine, sexual health expert, "It's often a forgotten area that can soothe or excite him." Just place your thumb and index finger on the spot where his ear lobe connects to the tissue near his face, she says. "Then, gently pull down and let your fingers slide off so you can start again."

Interesting. 

From my perspective, the great thing about the ear for Paras or Quads is that it is one of the only areas above the level of injury that when you touch them, wont cause spasms or uncomfortable sensations like touching the stomach, chest or legs may post injury. I don't know about everyone but my husband hates having his neck touched (the site of his incision area) as it makes him feel terrible. We decided to play around with ear massaging techniques in various environments, and see how he liked it as it is non threatening. As a couple, we are always looking for unique ways to experiment with touch and sexuality together post injury. 

Have you tried ear massage techniques? Has anyone else experimented with this and had good results? We all want to hear your feedback so comment below 

- Brooke (WAGS of SCI)

 

AskNurseLinda

Hi, Brooke, thanks for your comments. People tend to discount the ear but you seem to have hit the jackpot. Now, on to the armpit and inner elbow. For men, yes. Actually, any ticklish area will do. For women, with practice, some will be able to refocus orgasm in either of these two areas. The skin is loose and pliable there. Use water based lubricant. Since it is a ticklish area, anything can happen. People are always surprised what works when alternatives are sought. Nurse Linda

WAGSofSCI

@AskNurseLinda

Thank you so much for this feedback. We often receive messages around creating new sexual routines and intercourse between women and their partners. Many women ask us about what they can do to regain intimacy in their relationship to make their partners feel supported. We know that sexuality can and may look different after SCI, but how do we keep the spark alive? We know this is a loaded question but maybe you can help us navigate this?

All advice and feedback is welcomed. 

AskNurseLinda

Intimacy is so very specific to individuals. I think people have trouble finding a balance in life with work, kids, school, even TV.There are so many things competing for our time with or without a spinal cord injury. Couples have to make a conscious effort to be intimate with sex but especially those moments of closeness. Just being intimate can include a touch--make sure it is where your partner has sensation. A conversation that is just between the two of you with a word to trigger the memory. Sharing those personal moments. 

If you are helping with personal care, designate that as personal care time. The rest of the time, you are just a couple. Some people have trouble separating personal care time with intimacy so calling it personal care time might help separate the two.

Be physically close when appropriate. Feel the warmth of your partner, the smell, sweet nothings. Cliche, oh yes, but significant. Don't confuse intimacy with sex. They can be related but there is a lot more to those private relationships than just sex. It takes some people time to become sexual partners again, others just jump right in. Intimacy takes a bit longer to establish.

What do you think? Am I on the right track?  Nurse Linda