Visiting friends and family in THEIR homes

WAGSofSCI

Hi friends,

Dan and I have recently started visiting friends in their own home and we have mixed feelings and experiences about this. After his injury, Dan's parents acquired an outdoor power life that brings him along side the outdoor stairs and into his parents house---from a family friend who is also in a chair---AMAZING!!!

But, we have mixed reviews about visiting friends...one set of friends live on a large farm and literally use an excavator to lift Dan into their home to the top floor, while other live in an apartment with elevators. Only issue we keep coming across is that their bathroom is NOT accessible, not even a little bit. Dan is unable to get past the door frame into the bathroom to do an ICP, with means he has to use a urinal in a bedroom and then have me dump it out. This isn't really the end of the world but, I'm curious to hear your experiences? Share whatever you wish! I'm all ears!

Thanks so much in advance,

Elena

Mnichols23

I feel the same way! It’s incredibly difficult for me to get it to any of my other friends or family members home.  Of course they all come to me at my house to make things easier. All the special occasion are at my house. Which is very nice of them but sometimes I would like a change of Scenery and not always feel as if I’m the reason why the event is where it is. 

Sterlion

I have been to very few peoples houses who aren't in wheelchairs that I can fit in their bathroom. I usually just have to use a bedroom. I don't mind it as long as I can relieve myself. 

WAGSofSCI

@Mnichols23 ;
We feel the same way. And most times we don't mind hosting but it's also a lot of work to entertain. I think this is a really good example of seeing things from both perspectives. A) your friends think they are making your life easier by showing up and you not having to travel, or fit into their space, and you feel obligated to entertain and cook meals etc. It would be amazing to have an accessible space where everyone can go and use for free... sort of like ..."meet me at this and this community center, and you could use the space for free and it was actually nice. lol..big thinkers over here! 

-Elena

WAGSofSCI

@Sterlion

Yes, this is a legit point and one we roll with often. "Just do it", or "just make it work", because we love our friends and they are pretty comfortable with every need we need to execute regarding SCI.

-Elena

BrittanyFrank

This is territory I'm entering as a young mother. I'm unable to get into my friends & family's homes with my toddler. So if we want to have play dates, it has to be at our house or we meet in a public location: parks, pavilions etc. 

One day my son will be old enough to walk up to his friends houses etc. But until then I feel like my options are limited to our house or accessible parks etc. Thankfully more and more parks are accessible!

ColeandCharisma

We feel the same way! Most of the time, our friends come over to Cole's house in order to hangout because either their place isn't accessible or too small. We actually have noticed that Cole's friends stop inviting him to certain events. We believe it's due to the location being inaccessible or the "extra work" it may require to have Cole tag along. It is very frustrating because we would rather be invited than to be excluded all together. Because of this, we have recently found that we don't have many friends which kind of stinks. 

On the bright side, my parents are making their house accessible for Cole which makes us very excited! 

- Charisma 

WAGSofSCI

@ColeandCharisma - this has happened to us as well!!! The "not inviting" because of the hassle it may cause. Its crazy! I feel like its not so much the physical hassle but the mental hassle of having someone in a chair there - they feel like they have to think about someone else's needs other than there own instead of just enjoying the time. This actually gives me an idea for another post..... so thank you - Brooke 

trevorsendeavor

I know exactly what you mean when it comes to visiting friends. At this point most of the people that I go on vacation with or stay with know the ins and outs and we have a certain routine per say... but going somewhere unfamiliar can be frustrating. I have to have my girlfriend do the same thing sometimes depending on the bathroom situation regarding cathing. I guess i have gotten used to the "do whatever it takes" attitude and be thankful that there are people around me always willing to help! I know my friends have come so very far in understanding this injury as I am sure most of you can relate!