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Misconceptions about dating when you live with paralysis
As far as romantic relationships and dating go, what do you wish more people knew about those who live with paralysis? Are there any stereotypes you'd like to prove are not true?
I would like people to know I rely on my fiance as much as he does on me. We all have needs, they just happen to differ.
“Be brave. Be open-minded. Be kind. Be forgiving. Be generous. Be optimistic. Be grateful for the many unexpected lessons you will learn. Find the joy inside the hardship. It’s there. I assure you. And, too, be opened to inspiration from unlikely sources.” - D.R.
We find from our perspectives as Wives/Girlfriends of SCI, that we don't even see the chair after getting to know someone for who they are. Every single relationship has issues..able bodied and paralyzed alike. The issues that come with being in a wheelchair are sometimes nothing compared to being with someone who is selfish, insecure, jealous, envious, angry, immature or may not be the right person for you but who happens to be able bodied. Just because they have legs and arms that work, and their lives may be physically easier, doesn't mean they don't have problems. People are people for their souls.. their spirits. The chair is just a thing that helps them get around. Sure its a pains sometimes, as the world really isn't set up for people in wheelchairs, but, WHO you are is all that really matters in life. Like we have said before, we have all been with able bodied men - and they're great - but the reason we stay with our partners (or choose to be in a relationship with them post injury) is because of who they are... and who they are is better than anyone else for US. We find men who are in chairs tend to be insecure about themselves after injury when getting into dating, and thats understandable, but what they all need to know is the RIGHT person for them wont care if WHO they are is someone who is compatible with them. When you cant work on your physical body anymore, or are limited that way, work on your mind. Trust us, at the end of the day - you want someone who you can laugh with and be happy with, not necessarily someone with a hot body who can walk. That gets old after a while if it isn't the right person anyways.
Your WAGS of SCI
(Elena and Brooke)