Tis The Season Of Not Being Invited To Events..

WAGSofSCI

Hey guys - I wanted to start a discussion about this and get everyone's thoughts and experiences on this.

Summer is upon us and it's the season of BBQ's and outdoor events at the beach. How many of you have experiences where you (or your parter) are not invited to an event because of the lack of accessibility?

Sure, we all have those friends who always ensure that they plan events that are easy for someone in a wheelchair to get to. They always are sure to include us even If they know we cannot come, and don't even bother planning something that isn't accessible. Bless them. 

But we ALSO all have those friends (or that friend) who do NOT include us in their plans because of the stress this causes THEM to include someone who has accessibility needs. Sometimes they just don't want to make the effort to plan something that takes PLANNING and thought. Sometimes they don't want to have any stress put on themselves when it comes to possibly having to help someone who needs assistance. Sometimes they just don't want to be bothered customizing their plans or even telling us about the event or gathering beforehand. Sometimes they want to go to a beach picnic and not have to worry about lifting a wheelchair over the sand. The reasons why can vary, but I am sure we have ALL had some experiences with this one time or another. 

It breaks my heart when my husband isn't included in something because of lack of access or the planning that is needed. Sure, it may not be everyone else's responsibility to always plan something accessible, but it still hurts none the less. And the summer BBQ season seems to hurt the most. 

What is everyone else's thoughts on this? How do you deal with this mentally? 

- Brooke 

HuskerBK81

Yeah story of my life events, hang outs you name it it gets depressing cuz people don't come to mine either

Zcollie

My biggest one is the dam beach. Seeing all my friends at the beach having a good time and bbqing in the evening. It is not so much my friends faults. I wish the beach was more accessible so I could get closer to the water or right next to a fire pit in the sand. I feel like beaches should be WAY more accessible than they are ESPECIALLY for how many SCI's the beach causes every year...  

Also when friends have a backyard bbq and have a pool. It will either not be accessible at all or I can get back their but not in the pool and just have to watch everyone. In times like those it does hurt a little and suck, but I guess it is what it is.  

This is random haha but I was talking with my gf and said I wish there was a paralyzed community where we could live and all our neighbors has an SCI. That way we would all hangout, relate to each other, not feel left out and every house would be accessible... Just a funny idea haha. 

BrittanyFrank

@Zcollie I love the neighborhood idea haha. Then we could actually visit our neighbors, hang out and have BBQs/pool parties of our own. This is really hard because if you want it to happen you have to plan it at an accessible park location etc. But maybe just making a goal to plan something once a month so even though you may feel left out you can raise awareness to your friends. 

Rutha

Yeah this is hard.  I was spoiled because I was involved in wheelchair sports for years and accessibility was something we needed as a group so it was planned.  It was a rude awakening for me after I stopped playing to see how often I was excluded for reasons other folks have talked about.  I'm so fortunate that early on I had those positive experiences and support so I know how to create accessible spaces for myself and friends.  It takes effort -- but I always remind myself it's worth it.

@Zcollie I like your idea too!  

Zcollie

@Rutha Thanks