Hacks for a Better Sex Life — Reeve Connect
Reeve Connect will be shut down on October 31, 2021, while we reimagine and refresh our community forum. Thank you for making Reeve Connect a place where all people living with paralysis come to share their stories, tips, and engage in lively discussions. Stay connected with Reeve as we explore new community platforms and bring you an updated site that will be easier to navigate and accessible for all people living with paralysis. You can follow the Reeve Foundation on social media and sign up for our newsletter to receive the latest news on our initiatives and programs.

Read more

Hacks for a Better Sex Life

stephanie426 Moderator Posts: 81 Moderator
10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Likes First Answer
First, I'd like to say I wanted to find a different category to start this discussion in because, for me, my disability isn't a "new" normal for me. I've always used a wheelchair, so this has always been my normal. 

Regardless, I think it's important to discuss hacks for a better sex life because, I think Billy Joel said it best: "There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex." Plus, sex is healthy. It's no secret that sex can be great exercise and can help reduce stress and anxiety!  

It took me a long time and trying lots of different things to find the toys, the positions, and everything else that makes my sex life great and I think this is an area where to many people struggle - disabled or not. However, people with disabilities definitely face more barriers in establishing and maintaining a healthy sex life. So why continue to struggle when we can share our best tips and tricks? 

Here's a few of mine:

Pillows and swings for positioning: I love the wild sex scenes in movies where the couple is standing in the kitchen and then goes wild on the counter or does some ridiculous trapeze act to get in an incredible position, but given that standing is not my forte, and nor is it my fiance's (we're both wheelchair users), I've found that using pillows to help get in different positions or a sex swing to help hold up my body can be fantastic. I'd totally recommend creating a pyramid of pillows to place under your hips while laying face down if you're a woman who struggles with getting on your hands and knees. Using pillows to prop up your hips allows for a much better angle for anyone penetrating from behind. I'd keep the recommendations flowing, but I think it'd be more fun for you to experiment and try different positions for yourself! 

Vibrator with a large loop handle: Sometimes guys just cannot keep it up and there's 100% no shame in that. That does not mean you cannot please your partner in other ways. A vibrating dildo with a loop handle is a great toy, especially for men who have quad hands. The loop handle allows you to hold the toy simply by putting your thumb in the loop hole. You do not need a stern grip and even if things get a little slippery, you won't lose your handle on it. Here's one example, though any with a loop that you feel comfortably fits in your hand (and in your partner) will do! https://www.funfactory.com/en/vibrators/big-boss-g5/ 

Sensory objects for erogenous zones: Sex isn't just penetration, but also all the fun foreplay. Because my fiance and I both have lower sensation in some parts of our body, I find that using sensory objects all over can be incredible. Ice cubes, silk scarves, feathers. They all create wildly different sensations and it can be really intimate and arousing to experience these different sensations with a partner, in addition to the human touch of fingers, kissing, and licking. Ears, wrists, neck, lower back, and more - all of these areas need attention too! 

What are your favorite disability sex hacks? 


  • MSpin
    MSpin Member Posts: 3
    Name Dropper First Comment
    edited September 2020
  • EDelCH
    EDelCH Member Posts: 0
    Hi there!  I'm working on a product development project with the University of Akron and NSF in this space - aimed at improving sexual wellness outcomes for men with mobility issues.  Would you and/or your partner possibly be willing to have a discussion about the devices/aids that are out there right now and what's they get both right and wrong?  Thank you!