Parapalegic partner who refuses to bathe — Reeve Connect
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Parapalegic partner who refuses to bathe

Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed Member Posts: 1
I don't know where to start...he won't bathe (after making all the accomodations he asked for), he won't clean up in the morning and sits in a fully saturated diaper until hours after waking and I can smell it throughout our bedroom and the stench is worse than a horse barn, and when I complain he just digs in and is even more stubborn.  I have lost all of the feelings I had for him that led him to move in with me two years ago and now I just want him gone.  What is going on with this guy?  I do all the cooking, cleaning and care giving and I feel like a donkey and I just want him gone.  This is not a new condition for him...he was injured twenty three years ago, and he can still walk, barely, and that is another issue...refusal to use a walker...and the cane is not enough.  The other issue that is pushing me past the edge is the nudity...he just sits at his computer all day and night in nothing, or just a diaper.  This is not what I signed up for and this is not the behavior I witnessed in the three years leading up to his moving in with me.  My therapist says I need to kick him out and I am trying to find a solution/answer before I do that, but I am really really done and now I'm boxed in.  I have told him that he is destroying our relationship and my feelings for him and it's like I am talking to a wall...he's just not accepting the reality of what his behavior is doing to us.  Financially he pulls his weight, it's just his refusal to observe healthy and respectful hygiene that is making me miserable.  Has anyone here dealt with this?  

Comments

  • prc_Beth
    prc_Beth Moderator, Information Specialist Posts: 65 Information Specialist
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Awesomes

    Hi Overwhelmed,

    My name is Beth and I am a member of the Information Specialist Team here at the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation. I read your question and I wanted to reach out to you. I would suggest that you reach out to the Information Specialist team for information. You can submit a question here: https://www.christopherreeve.org/get-support/ask-us-anything 

    Has your partner had any issues with pressure injuries from his hygiene? If he is not monitoring his skin this could be an issue. 

    Since you mentioned that you are feeling overwhelmed you need to do things to take care of yourself. You might want to connect with someone from our Peer Mentor program. You can find our more about the program here: https://www.christopherreeve.org/get-support/get-a-peer-mentor 

    Please call 1-800-539-7309 or 973-467-8270 and ask to speak to an Information Specialist.