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Making love after SCI
I have been paralyzed for a little over eight years now. I have been with my wife for over 45 years. We always had a great sex life and immediately following my injury, what had come easily and naturally was now extremely difficult. First off, my wife didn't want to have sex because she felt guilty because while she was still able to achieve orgasm, I was not. She found it difficult to understand why I would even want to make love when I could not orgasm or even feel her touches. I am a T2 so anything below my nipple line is unfeeling. I can honestly remember the first couple of times after sex, and she orgasmed, she would break down in tears with guilt and sadness. After a while we overcame that issue with discussion and patient understanding. Even though I am 67 years old I must have really high levels of testosterone because I still have an incredible strong sex drive. We now engage in sexual activity about once a week and it is an expression of love and passion. I still find my wife extremely desirable and even though lovemaking is much different than what it was, I get a lot of pleasure from making love to my wife. We have found different ways too make love; one way is in the shower, another is role playing. I still love performing oral sex and touching her all over. There is a lot of anxiety and apprehension about SEX after SCI but based on your partner and sincere communication, making love can still be a very enjoyable experience.
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